October 2009
1 post
im upset with myself. angry with my body. my knee my ankle for not being stronger. and because of these injuries i cant move to the music as i used to. i duno whats wrong. i want to throw myself back into dance again but i know i have to ease into it again.
September 2009
2 posts
pulling at the heart strings
Nothing can move/anger/distress me more than having to see children suffer at the hands of war makers and discrimination, of hatred and greed.
oh the atrocities of mankind!!
it sickens me to the very core and humiliates me to be part of mankind.
—
on a separate note:”Love u too dear”
wah first time male friend said this to me. and i didnt even say it before.
HAHA
the occasional slip
you never said this would be easy. so i slipped and fell hard again today.
no matter how i try to get away from matters of the heart, they just seem to come back to me. like a boomarang!
aiyoyo.
on a side note: thank you for all your words of wisdom, your comfort. i still feel so close to you even though you’re miles and miles away.
keep emailing! (:
August 2009
3 posts
You speak
in ways tt i cannot see or hear. but tonight i do and it hasnt been any clearer what it is i have to do.
a>b
will we always not get what we deserve?
two of my best friends have recently been hurt badly by unfortunate events. and it pisses and pains me how bastards and bitches can get away with things like these.
you both deserve so much better- don’t settle for 2nd best.
it feels more than 2 months
as much as i track the blogs of others, i never once visited mine.
feeling emo again. so much has happened over the summer and it’s gg to come to an end soon. NO MORE REST.grr.
i miss u! :( why?
June 2009
1 post
today is turning out to be...
Quite a bad day for numerous reasons.
1) first screw up at work
2) hearing about 2 more swine flu cases on the ny bsm trip
3) getting a call from my mother and sister separetely to hear that my family cannot stay under the same roof after all these years without having holidays totally ruined cos of fighting.
4) dwindling savings.
5) not seeing u.
6) hearing about this from u, makes it even more...
May 2009
3 posts
part 1, the one with the lovers.
thiis going to be a very lengthly post, hence the need for different parts. I owe this to myself, and I should have done this long ago. From pent up feelings, joys and sorrows to hopes, fears and aspirations. I dun think i will be as honest as i will am now. for the sake of privacy i’m gg to avoid using full names.
Here goes.
Part 1: the one with the past lovers. Why I start with love? I...
Romans 8: 38-39
rely on this joy.
to get you through a sucky 2009.
i need to write that entry soon.
elissa and i talked today. and i realise that I’m not the only one who thinks shes fuckedup right now.
time
how long will this last?
April 2009
13 posts
the mrt track
sun’s almost rising now and I haven’t closed my eyes all night .In the not so far distance I can hear the mrt as it screeches to a halt, welcoming aboard its first dewy eyed passengers, preparing themselves for the flurry of activity that awaits them.
I am having trouble sleeping. My heart feels so heavy with things that I can’t put a thumb on. I feel sad, frustrated, angry....
just when you think your losing streak is over
apparently there is such thing as a bottomless pit.
WHY.
SO MANY QUESTIONS SO LITTLE ANSWERS.
THE SCENT OF SUMMER REALLY STINKS RIGHT NOW.
nb.
u smart.
ME AND MY STUPID MOUTH.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
confused deh.
wtf
NOW IM PISSED.
typical sat night at home
people like to know that they’re appreciated and thought of.
i am no exception.
just because i am impatient!
1) Get office clothes and alter shirts. pinstriped and charcoal grey pants
2) Settle Raw marketing, do a good job and shut mouths that doubt my ability to an awesome marketing director
3) Do a fantastic job for Arts Camp. start shooting arrows if need be. i’m rather nervous for this already and am quite stressed out that we won’t be able to pull it off.
4) train for a marathon of...
I gg.
so much for that.
More than just coincidence?
11 April 2009
why
am i feeling like this, again?
Your merciful grace.
Morning after morning he wakes me up to hear, to listen like a disciple. The Lord Yahweh has opened my ear. Isaiah 50
I can’t begin to describe the way I’m feeling now. It’s just this immense sense of happiness. A sense of peace. A sense of relief. Like embracing someone you haven’t seen in a very long time and just knowing that you wouldnt have to say goodbye again.
...
February 2009
1 post
i need to do this
I am feeling terribly upset.
and stressed.
and suffering from insomnia.
today while driving glenn ong was giving listeners tips on how to sleep well at night.
in an attempt to sleep better at night,
im gg to pen all my worries here:
1) very behind in school work, proj and assignments
2) not performing well for my responsibilities
3) my spiritual life
4) not being able to cope with all...
January 2009
2 posts
http://www.candygenius.com/letter.html
Dear asshole, I just wanted to let you know that you have completely manipulated my life. If you had a clue you would be dangerous. I have reached the end of my rope because you have cheated on me one too many times. I have always looked the other way, which makes me a doormat. This time you have hit an all time low, even for you. I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are...
whatever you do
don’t forget me.
don’t forget US.
ok?
even though you’ll be miles away.
November 2008
1 post
001
it’s starting to sink in.
it happened so fast.
within an hour, what we built, didn’t come crashing down ironically. it was a moment when we took a step back and agreed that it was for the best.
i don’t know if i did it in spite. if i did it on impulse. but i can’t do anything to change what already has been done.
you hugged me today more than the times you’ve...
October 2008
1 post
it will
You wonder how it is possible that after all the hard work that you’ve put into something, it will just never be enough.
tonight, i’m in the library yet again. on a friday night. half a year back i would have scoffed at the very idea of being 5 yards of this dementing place.
now it’s a place where i take refuge. being around others who i believe are in the same plight as i am....
September 2008
3 posts
heart squeeze no.2
the feeling of having someone tell u that they care is just wonderful.
“i wish i had known u earlier so u didn’t have to suffer so much”
you are the sweetest thing
-it’s one of the reasons why I feel you are worth it in the end.
i want to screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm now.
but i am in the damn library at this time of the night.
RAR.
August 2008
4 posts
i am confused
i duno how i feel towards you.
i duno if i can trust what you tell me now.
sometimes i duno if i want to see what i see in school.it hurts so i look away.
why are u so different?
was i just a summer fling to you?
how can i make u want to be committed?
u tell me that one day when u say those words to me it will be from your heart.
but will u ever say them? will u ever feel that strong for...
i opened smuvista today, checking what readings had to be done, when i spotted this phrase right at the bottom of lecture 1 of international economics-
” where do we go from here?”
it was all i needed to realise that maybe this isn’t so perfect after all.
misses
rubbing the skin raw red,
the tightness,
driving movement through friction and engulfed in beats-every single beat has its own meaning.
nothing can ever replace the feeling possessing uncontrolable control.
it’s beauty in its purest form.
i feel like this :) :) :) :) whenever u send me a text, telling me that i am on your mind.
it keeps me going for days
i wish i knew how i could tell u this without sounding over bearing and needy.
July 2008
2 posts
heart squeeze
for all the right reasons tonight
alas, here’s one that feels different.
i am anxious to see how things will be like when school starts
all the hype
i think i am starting to really fall for you.
let’s hope that it’s great not cos of all the hype but cos of the chemistry we share (:
im scared but excited -oh what a moment to remember.
June 2008
2 posts
dear you
all this talk about funerals and death scares me
we haven’t even begun to live our lives properly and yet this thought lurks behind every sunrise
do you know it worries that youhave these things planned out already?
sighh, maybe i worry too much. truly a part of MACs(mother and children)
anyway i had a nice thought today, i was thinking that maybe we should get a tattoo together next...
May 2008
1 post
At least i made the 1 year mark
Buang ah Buang. i hate liang court carpark! this is a BAD week for driving
April 2008
3 posts
on love.
Okay, maybe i haven’t given up on love and relationships. I just need the right one to come along. Someone who has the same dreams as I, the same interests. To be driven but not too driven, to know that he has to be dependable and responsible.to not be afraid tt I want to get married at 26 and have 4 kids.and i hope he does too. To understand that i have committments like school, family and...
I will remember tonight
I finally feel alive again. I feel like I don’t need to be caught up with him anymore. I don’t need to go to his blog to see whether or not he’s updated. I am finally moving on. Yeah I still think about the sweet memories but then these really upsetting thoughts follow and I realise now that it isn’t all worth it. These few months, I’ve been thinking about what I want...
